


I Know But Cannot Play Your Game

by Taste_of_Suburbia



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst Bela Talbot, Colt - Freeform, Deftones, Demon/Human Relationships, F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, French Fries, Hell, Horror, Hurt/Comfort, Murder, Nightmares, Protective Ruby, Rob Thomas, Romance, Ruby 1.0 - Freeform, Ruby 2.0, SPN femslash week, Santana - Freeform, Torture, Traumatized Bela Talbot, diner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-28
Updated: 2012-09-28
Packaged: 2017-11-15 05:26:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/523651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taste_of_Suburbia/pseuds/Taste_of_Suburbia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during Seasons 3 & 4. Bela falls in love with the blonde haired, blue-eyed beauty that is Ruby months before both their due dates come up. And as Bela becomes the unthinkable, the monster that Ruby never truly was, losing herself piece by piece as she roams the earth searching for any remnant of her lost love, she starts freaking out when a mysterious woman who fondly reminds her of Ruby introduces herself, causing long lost feelings to split open within her once more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Know But Cannot Play Your Game

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for SPN femslash week. While my OTP is Dabriel and I could have made them both into women, I wanted to celebrate the characters of Bela and Ruby, who even in their deaths remain gorgeous and well worth remembering and writing for. So I write for their remembrance and for all those out there who adore Bela/Ruby as well. Enjoy this.
> 
>  
> 
>  **Songs Featured:** "Smooth" ~ Santana  & Rob Thomas & "Lucky You" ~ Deftones. The part where Bela sees Ruby 1.0 for the first time was inspired by a scene from the film Bigfish.
> 
>  
> 
> Mature because back when I was writing this, I was really paranoid. Not so much now though, but I'm still gonna leave it the way it originally was. I'm using the warning 'graphic depictions of violence' just for a couple scenes, even though they're not very graphic, just cause I'm paranoid on that issue a little still.

_~Well I’ll tell you one thing_  
 _If you would leave it’d be a crying shame_  
 _In every breath and every word I hear your name calling me out_  
 _Well out from the barrio you hear my rhythm on your radio_  
 _You feel the turning of the world so soft and slow_  
 _Turning you round and round~_

Her body bucks and quivering moans emanate from her mouth, spill forth from her split lips as another knife trails its way across her throat, slices the sensitive skin there and her senses explode as blood gushes out of her, leaves her choking and praying to a god she never believed in for release.

She has visions of angels breaking down the gates of Hell and coming to rescue her, of Dean Winchester sneaking past all these cruel demons and telling her he’s come for her.  
Mostly she dreams of her, her demon, her beloved. 

But all these thoughts vanish as soon as she feels the agony, watches Alistair maliciously grin as his knife is risen once more, begging her to stay awake so he can fulfill his sick obsession to watch her burn, relish the taste of her blood and the image of a once beautiful woman, now resorted to a naked, broken and shaking heap barely resembling a human. 

She’s done, it’s over. 

The last thing she can remember herself doing is screaming loud and long. 

“Ruby!”

 

Bela’s eyes flip open at the sensation of heavy rain, chilling her through her threadbare and torn leather jacket down to the bone. She shivers as she focuses on pulling herself off the concrete which her frail form has stuck unwillingly onto, gasping as she manages to get up on her feet with almost losing the little balance she has seconds later. 

She trudges down the road, wrapping her jacket further around herself even though she’s all too aware it won’t do a speck of good. She’s shivering harder now as she trudges on throughout thick grass, wondering where she is and if she’ll be able to warm up soon enough before what’s left of her body begins its descent into hypothermia. 

Finding a small shop up ahead she slips inside, her fingers numbly searching through the racks for something decent to wear. Her eyes blink dozens of times before she finds them cleared of the rain and what suspiciously seems like recent tears. 

Bela isn’t able to think at this point, her brain has turned into a pile of useless goo and all she receives are flashes of a recent nightmare that she assumes is Hell. She’s lucky that she even remembers that much. 

Her eyes follow the long line of racks before landing on a warm looking coat, grasping onto it, staring at its beautiful vermilion color for numerous seconds before taking it with her, along with some other clothes she has taken a liking to. 

She hopes her taste in clothes hasn’t been eradicated, for one thing a girl must always have in this world, no matter how torn or broken she may be, is style. She knows the colors that don’t compliment her figure, that don’t make her hazel eyes pop and her brunette hair shimmer in the early afternoon sun. 

Thinking of that, she glances up at herself in the small mirror in the tiny room, noticing her hair is terribly dry and not only that, but filthy and its once vivid brunette color faded. She runs her fingers through it slowly but it hardly makes any difference. A considerable amount of time, as well as hair care products will be needed to make it look presentable again. 

At least she’s not bald, she reminds herself, although still wishing she were anywhere else but among the public, swarming around her and judging her. 

Bela dresses in the clothes quickly, relishing in the feel of the soft and very warm vermilion coat around her, warming her quite fast and reminding her of Ruby.

She leaves her clothes behind and slips on a pair of high heels that she found lying around when she first entered the store. And as she heads out the door before anyone can notice they’re missing some clothes in the ladies department, she suddenly wonders how long she can do this, if she can even survive in the state she’s in. 

She’s feels utterly, irrevocably hopeless. 

 

“Hello?”  
“Dean, is it really you? I thought you were dead.”

“Who is this?”

“Bela. It’s Bela Talbot.”

“…”

“Dean?”

He hung up on her, actually hung up when she was hanging on his every word. Bela honestly can’t believe how he managed to survive. Did Sam get him out of his deal or did he go after all and somehow found a way back like she did?

Everything depends on her talking to him, finding about what happened even if she could really care less about him. More than anything she must find out where Ruby is, what happened to her, because the things she heard in Hell, of Ruby coming back to the pit, are literally destroying the last remnants of hope she still possesses. 

“Hello?”

“Dean, listen to me…”

“Look, lady, I don’t know what the hell you’re pulling but…”

“Please just listen to me. I don’t know how I got out but I need to see you. You must let me come, tell me where you are.”

“Even if you were Bela, which you’re not, I would never trust you enough to willingly tell you where I am. That card’s already been played before.”

“You sound so sure.”

“That’s because I am. Now fuck off.”

He hangs up again, leaving Bela completely alone, dropping her heavy head into her hands and crying silently for the only thing she needs. The one thing she cannot for the life of her find. 

 

She takes money, or rather steals money where it is made available to her. She tries to be careful but it’s hard, so hard to distinguish right from wrong anymore. Bela knows that she must survive at any cost, if not for herself then for just the miniscule hope that Ruby will make it back to her someday. 

So she uses what little money she can get her hands on for food and clothes and of course a decent enough place to stay, although the term decent has changed for her dramatically since her return from Hell. Earlier, she would have accepted no less than a suite and now she’s resorted to hole in the wall motel rooms the Winchesters always seem to make their ephemeral home at. 

She remembers Dean’s Impala, reminisces on its beauty and power, knows she would rather sleep in the backseat of that than in one of these lumpy beds. It is a dear sight better than sleeping out on the cold concrete though, where she unfortunately had to wake up after who knows how long she had been there. 

_Ruby… where are you…_

_Just give me a sign… somewhere I might find you…_

_I need you…_

She takes long cold showers, not wanting to relive the deep lingering chill, lasting longer than a day, of that night in the rain but realizing she has no choice. Hell has left a deeper mark on her body and soul, not only fraying her mind but making her loathe the infernal summer heat. 

She hides from the sun constantly now and if she even feels a drop of hot water touch her skin, she not only finds herself freaking out and nearly hyperventilating, but also morphing into something not even relatively like herself. It then takes her hours hours to be brought back down to the last remnant of herself she still has left. 

Ruby has all of her, her heart and the only fragment of her soul that ever truly mattered. If she doesn’t find her, she’ll never be Bela Talbot again. For there will be no purpose, no reason, nothing to stand in the way of the monster brought to life within her whilst among all the demons of the pit that were not Ruby, possessed none of her beauty, her gentleness or kindness or love. 

Nothing to prevent her from becoming the monster that she is close, so so close to becoming. 

 

Bela tenses within her grasp, pulling herself together before fully melting into the demon’s arms. 

Ruby looks down at her and the human wonders, not for the first time, if Ruby ever really sleeps, whether she feigns it to make Bela feel more at ease about sleeping herself, less guilty about leaving Ruby alone in the dark, or simply really does sleep, for she must go through enough that her vessel demands it. 

That’s another thing Bela often wonders about, whether she’s drawn to Ruby’s current vessel or Ruby herself. She knows it would be cruel if it was the former but she just can’t help it, Ruby is beautiful, too much beauty for her to handle all in one sitting to tell the truth. 

Her long flowing blonde hair, cascading around her shoulders and falling softly in Bela’s face, both warming her and calming her down. 

Big vivacious blue eyes, staring deep down into Bela’s own hazels, staring into her soul and willing, begging, pleading the human to see the genuine love and concern there. 

As if Bela doesn’t believe it enough already. 

“It’s past your bedtime," Ruby states, her index finger trailing down the side of Bela’s face lovingly, lingering on her cheek. 

Bela smiles softly, “Didn’t know I had one.”

The demon bends down to push back her brunette hair, enough to kiss her gently on the forehead. 

“Do you love me?”

“Of course I love you, sugar.”

“I’m glad”, Bela whispers before drifting off into dreams so unlike the Hell she hasn’t gotten to know yet. 

 

“What are you doing?”

Ruby has that demanding tone but it sounds so concerned when the sound of her voice reaches Bela’s ears. While the demon may also seem the slightest bit curious there’s more hurt in her gaze than anything else, as the human glances up momentarily from her tote bag into her wide cerulean eyes.

“Dean and Sam have the Colt.”

Ruby takes a step forward, staring at her like she’s just heard the stupidest thing fall out of her mouth. 

“So?”

“So," Bela instantly answers, “I want it. It’ll fetch more than a decent price on the market, and maybe," her eyes look Ruby’s luscious body up and down, making it all that much harder for her to leave her behind, “I’ll grab onto enough to buy us a nice condo overlooking the beach in Malibu.”

She slings her tote bag over her shoulder, heading towards the door as soon as she checks out her hair as well as her general appearance in the mirror adorning the far wall. 

The demon crosses her arms and blocks her path to the outside world, “You’re coming back right?”

Bela lightly smiles and gives her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Course I am, Rubes.”

Course she is. 

 

She comes back three weeks later to find the motel room abandoned, Ruby nowhere in sight and no trace of her left besides the beautiful lingering scent of her on the sheets of the queen bed. A mixture of strawberries and bubblegum that often leave her high and dry. 

Bela sighs loudly, collapsing on the bed, fingering the handle of the stupid Colt she just couldn’t find herself able to let go of. She curses herself, calls herself idiot and stupid girl and admits she misses Ruby a great deal more than she ever wanted the Colt. She shouldn’t have left, she should have called Ruby good enough and left it at that. 

Neither a phone call nor a letter, not a damn thing. And who does she have to blame but herself? She truly hates herself, one more mistake on her part and she’ll end up really sorry, she realizes with a heavy heart thundering loudly in its sad and irritating melody in her chest.

“Hey, Bel.”

She glances up, magic flaring to life before her, her eyes first fixating on the figure’s high heeled familiar boots before resting on her heavenly face, “Ruby?”

And before she can even think about how lucky she is, the chances of this happening, she finds herself lodged inside Ruby’s warm and steady arms, embracing her so readily and perfectly that Bela tells herself it’s okay to melt into her this time. 

And she does, leading Ruby to chucking softly as her human’s entire weight is carried over to her. Bela’s sure she doesn’t mind too much though. Ruby loves to hold her and cuddle with her and show her just how much of a heart she truly has. 

Bela honestly doesn’t know what she’d ever do without her. 

“I’m sorry,” she gasps out, “thought you were gone and I…”

“Hush," Ruby pulls her tighter, picking her delicate figure off the ground so discretely and carrying her over to the bed, kicking the door shut so they won’t be disturbed anytime in the near future. 

Her fingers brush back Bela’s hair as two sets of eyes lock to hopefully remain locked forever, if only it would be that perfect and not so ephemeral after all. 

“Now you can make it up to me, beautiful.”

 

Bela gasps awake, hurriedly stumbling over to the bathroom to stare at herself, the dark circles now becoming a normal presence around her eyes, as well as becoming more bloodshot with every night she cannot sleep. Not without Ruby lying next to her, protecting her always.

She opens up the closet next to the bed and slips on her vermilion coat, hugging it around her incredibly skinny and still healing body, breathing in a smell nearly like her demon’s but it’ll never be the same. 

_I’m yours now, Bel. Your demon, your lover, your girlfriend._

_I love you. Say it back._

She could never seem to say it back, no matter how much Ruby wanted it though never demanded it, no matter how often her mind and heart screamed at her to spit out the simple fucking words they should have been but never were. 

It was because she knew she was head over heels in love, of course she was, but couldn’t distinguish between appearance and personality. Ruby’s body was more than appetizing, it was gorgeous, the hair, face, eyes, mouth, everything about her. 

But it was her vessel, not even her, and Bela couldn’t help but always wonder if the actual girl that the demon suppressed within her when obtaining her as a vessel, would have been just as or even more suited to Bela’s tastes. Better suited to her love. 

That’s why she couldn’t and still can’t will herself to say it, because Ruby doesn’t deserve it if she isn’t sure whether she means it or not. It really is tragic, and Bela feels terrible and hates herself at times for it, but she won’t lie to Ruby. 

That’s how much she means to her.

 

The gun is held tightly yet confidently in her hands before she even realizes what the fuck she’s doing. The coat is still adorning her but it doesn’t ground her mind in the slightest. Half the time she doesn’t know where she is, what her name is anymore, who she is and who she was. 

Ruby doesn’t even seem real anymore, like a half remembered dream that she cannot seem to shake. Her smell is fading and her smile is too, maybe there never really was a Ruby. After all, no demons could ever have been as sweet as she. It was an impossibility at the time and it remains one today. 

She shakes her thoughts away and focuses on the boy behind the counter before her, the boy that honestly couldn’t be more than nineteen years old. 

“Whoa, calm down, lady. You don’t want to do this.”

She doesn’t know what she is anymore, that once ultra-thin line between right and wrong is gone now so that’s she’s teetering on the edge, barely able to feel responsible for keeping herself steady and sane and in the here and now. 

_You’re not in Hell anymore, remember?_

_You don’t want to do this, so why are you doing it?_

_Stop, Bela. Just stop!_

But her hands don’t slip off the gun for a millisecond, instead she motions towards the cash register, unafraid and all too willing to do this, which scares her the most. 

“Give me all you have. And don’t try anything stupid.”

He stuffs the piles of cash in the bag and throws it over to her, she catches it with the hand she slips off her gun. 

In that motion there appears a flash of Ruby standing above her, crying over her body, ripped apart into shreds by hell-hounds. She is screaming and crying and cursing the Winchesters, begging Bela to wake back up and kiss her one last time. 

She tastes French fries exploding out of nowhere on her tongue when she pulls the trigger with her sweating finger, coming back to reality just in time to see the boy drop to the ground. Dead. 

_What have I done? What the hell is wrong with me?_

She lowers the gun and surges forward, slowing her pace when she can see the back of the counter, the blood spilling out across the ground, his eyes open and lifeless, blue eyes that remind her so much of Ruby’s. 

_Nonononononono_

She rushes the few final steps forward, bending down and feeling for a pulse she knows won’t be there. She wants to scream, to cry and beg and plead and ask anyone out there listening why oh why this had to happen to her. She didn’t want to kill him, was going to leave him behind and go about her way. He was only nineteen, she’s no killer. 

Except she is, that’s exactly what she is. 

She puts her shaking like crazy hands on his chest, thinking for a moment that she can will him back to life when she knows this is beyond ridiculous. After countless minutes of sitting there, on the ground, the blood spreading further towards her so the bottom of her coat starts to soak it up, she finds herself standing up unwillingly. 

Bela wants to stay with him but she can’t. She has to go now, trek on through the rest of her pathetic and nightmarish existence. Why oh why couldn’t she have remained in Hell? She knows without a doubt that she’s one of those things now, a true demon, that’s what they’ve successfully turned her into. 

A coldblooded killer that will only kill again. 

And it’s a good thing that Ruby can’t see her now, witness with a heavy heart and tearing up eyes at what she has become after four months in the pit. 

Dark red blood dripping from her hands both rapidly and sometimes in fits of contorted slow motion, which she knows is her mind playing tricks on her. Twisted pieces of Hell floating up from the surface to greet her, driving her into further insanity. 

She’s currently doing all she’s wanted to do for the past five minutes, screaming and crying in the middle of the entirely empty parking lot, losing her balance and crashing to the ground, skinning her knees and she doesn’t even notice the pain, her blood now mingling with the boy’s. 

She’s a monster. Nothing is distinguishing her from being a monster. 

Her pleas aren’t heard by anyone no matter how long or loud she screams, and she doesn’t even stop when she knows she should, not when her throat is torn to shreds or her body aching from the rain that’s coming down as hard as it did the first day she came back. 

Not even Ruby hears her, and it is in that moment that Bela finally realizes she will forever be alone. Haunted by her past that led her to this moment, and tortured by memories of a demon who just couldn’t seem to leave her alone because of love. 

Because of love she didn’t even deserve. 

 

“Hello?”

“This Bela?”

“Yeah. If you’re looking for the Colt I don’t have it.”

“Nope, that was past. Just thought you should know that Ruby’s alive. She’s with Sam, here in Vegas.”

“Dean?”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks. Thanks so much.”

Bela isn’t completely a monster yet, and maybe if she finds Ruby then she can save her. Bring out that hidden part deep inside of her so she can be Bela once more. It shouldn’t be too much to hope. 

Or is it?

 

The moment she reaches Vegas, tracks down the motel the boys are staying in, she wants to punch Dean Winchester square in the face, break every bone in his fucking body, watch blood pour out of his mouth and force him to swallow every lost drop of it. She’s about to do it, but while Sam may be Dean’s weakness he is also his strength. Bela has no doubt she would end up dead within a day at most. 

She really really really does want to kill him though. 

Because the girl with Sam may be gorgeous and hot and so many other things, but she is most certainly not Ruby. 

Bela would be able to recognize Ruby from miles away, those lips and eyes and hair and that expression on her face that says so much. She loves Bela and no one will ever mess with her once human, she’d send anyone and everyone to the pit if Bela is even threatened, touched, looked at without her approval. 

Ruby is crazy in her protectiveness, going above and beyond normal boundaries. Bela loves it though, or rather, loved it. 

She punches the windshield of her piece of shit little car, relishes in the pain of her knuckles splitting open and she thinks she might have broken her wrist. Bela can’t find herself able to care though, her eyes flicker open as she stands in front of her car, hands raining blood and when she looks down at it all it looks so beautiful. It sparkles like the flames that once licked across her body that belonged to the fires of Hell.

Bela wonders if her eyes flash black, if she’s a demon because she honestly doesn’t know. She doesn’t know what she is anymore, only that she’s turning into a monster and can’t cease it, can’t tell the inner demon within her ‘no, you cannot be fed, I will not give into you’.

Because she is giving into it, the wrath and fury and malice within her.

With one final look at the woman that stands beside Sam, nearly drowning in her eyes, her hair, her everything, feeling that if she were in her presence she would bow down to her beauty and power, she can’t help but wonder how Dean could be so cruel, tell her about Sam’s new girlfriend only to tempt and establish misery within her soul. 

She wants Ruby back. Goddammit, she wants her girlfriend back. 

 

“Would you still like me if I dyed my hair?”

Bela can’t believe her ears, why oh why would she ever do that? Her beautiful golden hair that showers down around her shoulders like a halo. Bela never wants to part with that. 

“Sure.”

She must not answer for a very long time, maybe that’s what tips her demon off. 

“Don’t lie.”

“I’m not lying," Bela tries, although only too aware she doesn’t sound convincing in the slightest. 

“Relax, Bel,” Ruby walks over to her and hugs her, playfully toying with her own brunette hair, which she does try so hard to keep in order yet here her girlfriend is, messing it up.

She pushes her away playfully, a little outraged when Ruby continues, “I know I would hate you in blonde hair.”

“No you would not. You would love me even if I was a platinum blonde.”

Ruby grins as she pushes Bela onto the bed, ripping off her leather jacket before crashing down beside her, “Don’t be too sure of that, honey.”

Her demon hovers over her, kissing her passionately but Bela can’t help but let her thoughts wander to the terrible images and situations that flow through her mind of things that could happen to the both of them. 

Maybe it’s because she’s dating a demon and the fact that she’s a human doesn’t aid her in killing all her uneasiness and insecurities. Then again, Bela’s always been hesitant when it comes to relationships, untrusting and fearing the worst. Always fearing. 

Ruby eventually stops her manic kissing and, her warm breath clouding her human’s face, lifts her head up and stares down at her with a mix of disappointment and concern. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Promise me you won’t run away," she whispers so lowly another human wouldn’t be able to hear her, but Ruby has many talents and she’s not sure if she likes that about her or doesn’t. 

The thing is, the demon would rip the words out of her mouth anyway, even if she wasn’t a tiny bit eager to share them. So she might as well let Ruby have at her with all her compassion and promises and sweet sweet love. 

“I won’t," Ruby smiles strangely, “why would I do that?”

Bela doesn’t answer, just stares down at the ugly flowered bed sheets, fingering them as Ruby sighs loudly and gets off of her to lie down mere inches from her. 

“Bela.”

She looks up into her eyes, hoping to see something there, some sign that she’ll be the only thing Ruby will ever love. That’s all she wants anyway, such strong confirmation that the doubts in her head will be silenced forevermore, her worries put to rest in a grave that will never be graced again by a desperate and curious young woman frantically wanting to open it once more. 

“Sam.”

Ruby chucks the word away like it’s nothing, but Bela has seen her interact with him, practically flirt with him and she’s held her tongue one too many times. It’s necessary to get it off her chest before it eats her up any more than it already has inside. 

“Sam’s such a laughable idiot. He’ll honestly believe anything I say if I just remember to bring up Dean.”

Bela doesn’t answer, just stares outside the window half expecting to see the youngest Winchester out there, becoming a further distraction, attraction, to the demon who’s supposed to be in love with her. 

“You’re not serious.”

“…”

“Bela, I love you. You know that. If anything I should be worried about you hooking up with Dean.”

Her eyes flash open wide as she stares at Ruby incredulously, barely able to get his name out of her mouth because she nearly chokes on it, “Dean?”

“Don’t lie. I know you had a little crush on him the first time you laid eyes on that bad boy.” 

“…”

She can’t believe it, yeah, maybe she isn’t completely lying but still. She was never planning on hooking up with Dean, he was just some nice eye candy that her temptations needed to give into every once in a while. She hopes Ruby doesn’t suspect anything, or will hold it against her again in the future. This is bad, this is so very bad. She doesn’t even like the eldest, not that much at least. How did Ruby even notice, it’s not like she made it obvious…

“I’m just kidding”. Gosh, Bela,” she laughs and shakes her head, “relax and let me have my way with you already.”

The human smiles and relents, relaxing into Ruby’s presence because she has to admit, Ruby having her way with her does sound pretty damn good. 

Maybe it is stupid to think that Ruby would attempt to do something behind her back. The human has no doubt that she loves her, just knows that Ruby has enough love in her heart, and not to mention lust, to not just claim her as a prize. 

Bela hopes the evil little voice inside her head is wrong. 

 

“Hello?”  
“I just want you to know, Dean," her voice cracks at the last word, the desperation of wanting, needing to sob taking control of her fiercely and trying to shatter her barriers, manipulate her into breaking down. 

She just doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction of realizing, the proof laid so clear before him, that the almighty Dean Winchester managed to break the frail shell that remains of Bela Talbot. 

“I want you to know that I hate you, and that you’re such an asshole," she wipes a few stray tears away and clutches the phone tighter, wondering if it’ll break within her grasp, “how dare you.”

“Bela…”

“No, shut up. I hope you feel better about yourself, cause you’re a downright jerk and I thought you were better than that.”

“Wait, Bela. Ruby’s…”

She hangs up on him, no longer able to hold back the tears starting to climb over her floodgates, more and more sanity vacating her tortured soul. She can’t breathe, all she sees is blood that flickers in and out of existence, maybe it’s there, maybe it’s not. What should it matter? 

She’s practically gone already. 

 

There’s a knock on her door and even though she wants to scream back that she already paid for the next week and a half, she convinces herself to get her lazy ass off the bed and up on her feet. 

Her fingers close around the door handle and she is greeted by the last sight she ever expected, wishes to see for that matter.

“Hi. Can I come in?”

The woman is smiling flirtatiously, her dark brunette hair brushing alongside both sides of her face due to the wind outside like a heavenly halo and… 

Oh, god. She is so very _very_ attractive. 

Bela is left speechless, only half aware that her mouth is hanging open and she’s gaping gaping at this magnificent sight before her. She wishes more than anything that Ruby was here right now, to draw her away, to kiss her and make love to her so passionately that the other woman standing here right now would be blown away, jealous of Ruby as she slams the door in her face to prove that this is her girl. 

Because Bela feels extremely dirty right now, falling in love with someone else when she’s not even positive that Ruby’s dead. She honestly hopes that the demon can’t see her now, otherwise she’d be dead set on peeling every inch of skin off her bloodstained form. 

Okay, that’s maybe going a little too far, but still. 

It would not be pretty. 

This is Sam Winchester’s girlfriend. She’s mesmerized and totally checking out Sam Winchester’s girlfriend. 

Oh no, there will be hell to pay for this. 

But why is she here, and how does she know her? It’s positive that Sam wouldn’t tell her about Bela, isn’t it?

“Sure," Bela smiles a tiny smile, the best she’s able to come up with spur of the moment as she opens the door wider, watches with wide eyes filled with amazement as her slender form saunters across the doorway and then turns back around to her on her high heeled boots, grinning sexily up at Bela. 

Bela fears she’s going to drop dead from the beauty that is her. 

“Nice place ya got," the woman takes in the flea-ridden motel, picking at the bed sheets with her perfect fingers. 

Bela fights off an urge to lick her lips and looks up into her eyes.

“I don’t believe we’ve officially met but I’ve seen you. Been wondering when, of course now it’s if, you were ever gonna show up at my doorstep. Though I’m sorry to say," she steps up to Bela and they look each other in the eyes, Bela a little nervously and the woman of course flirtatiously for numerous seconds, “that it seems I’ve beat you to the chase.”

She smiles and holds out her hand, “I’m Genevieve by the way.”

Bela stares down at it, unable to get her arm to work in time before she pulls it away entirely, gliding back over to the door like an angel. Bela watches her every move, nearly begs her not to leave but it would seem a little too awkward to say something like that to a girl she doesn’t even know. 

There’s something off about her though, vaguely familiar, something that Bela can’t quite place… 

“Meet me at the diner down the street in twenty. Gosh, there’s so much we should talk about, isn’t there?”

“I…” 

_What does she even mean by that?_

Ruby suddenly rushes forward and places a finger on her lips, “Hush, darling. It’s on me. Looks like you haven’t eaten in weeks.”

And with that she raises her eyebrows several times, giving her a questionable wink before making her departure. Bela stares after her, licking her bottom lip from where her finger had been only moments before. 

French fries. 

It tastes like French fries. 

 

It’s as if time ceased its motions and the massive spinning ball on its axis she thrived on couldn’t help but gaze along with her tortured hazel eyes, frozen as if the world had been cloaked in ice, at the exact same sight. 

Her heart stopped beating, her breath stopped racing in and out like it had for the first few moments when she had seen it. Her. Seen her. 

The vision before her was well worth living for. Well worth dying for. 

Ruby…

Her eyes bore into the blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauty before her, sinking into her slender figure, her bubblegum pink lips, wickedly unique smile and a face and figure that screamed perfect. 

Bela felt her blood surging through her veins, pulsing pulsing pulsing and the rush in her ears prevented her from hearing anything, thinking of anything but just being in the same room with her. That was all she wanted… all she needed…

And then Ruby looked at her and her whole world came crashing down around her speechless form. 

The demon who looked more like an angel, fallen and still possessing that certain perfection that no human could claim, that certain smile and smell that brought magic to the watcher and caused sensory overload, stared at her for the longest time, almost as if she were frozen herself. 

Bela let herself think for a moment that Ruby literally couldn’t look away, until she did, glanced away from Bela and onto something else. Something better. 

The human once heard that when you see the love of your life, when time has stopped for that long, then it’s forced to speed up again. The world must chastise the girl who interrupted its responsibilities and force her to watch as the demon departs in the blink of an eye. 

And that’s exactly what happens. Bela blinks and she is gone, no trace of her and no sign of where she could have gone off too. 

Bela wonders if it’s over but then thinks a hell of a lot more clearly. 

They’ll see each other again, she can feel the realization blooming within her like a lonely flower craving for and reaching towards the sun. 

 

“So," Genevieve glances up from her small plate of French fries and grins across the table at Bela, sitting there a little nervously with shoulders tensed and a head mucked up with so much she can hardly bear it. 

“We gonna bother with introductions?”

Bela shrugs, staring out the window like she’s told herself not to do for the past five minutes, “Why bother? You clearly know me and I’ve got your name.”

There is a painfully awkward silence for a few minutes, and Bela grows so angry, furious even, that she can’t help but turn back to Genevieve, cross her arms and present her best glare available to her. 

“Does Sam know you’re here?”

She scoffs, dipping two fries at once into some ketchup just like Ruby once used to do. It’s so strange, so freaky that Bela finds she doesn’t even want to be here at all, just get up and walk off, leaving her behind in the dust. 

“Why should he know where I am? I’m not even dating him.”

The human’s eyes dart up in shock, “You’re not?”

Genevieve laughs, nearly choking on her fry and falling out of the booth, “Of course not. Are you kidding me? So not my type.”

Bela laughs a little in relief, sinking further down in her seat and finding it much easier to look at her, eye the faint smile that lingers on her face and wonder what thoughts hold shelter within her head. 

After a few seconds, Genevieve glances back at her, shaking her head slightly at Bela with pity and abruptly the human wants to leave again. But not before she finds out what’s up. The woman across from her looks like she’s about to cry and such concern lines her features that Bela starts thinking something is going on, for Genevieve doesn’t even really know her and here she is, acting all strange and its really getting on her nerves. 

“Oh, darling, you really can’t see it can you?”

Genevieve leans across the table and attempts to take Bela’s hand if only she doesn’t yank it back under the booth just in time. 

There’s something about this moment that she doesn’t like at all. 

Bela stares at her carefully, at the way her fingers twirl her fries in the ketchup, of the fact that she always puts more of the condiment on her plate than she needs. The way she slouches in her seat and fidgets with her hair occasionally, preferring to keep her gaze on her and not the sparse sights outside…

Wait a minute. It can’t be…

“You… you’re…”

“Don’t rack your brain, Bel. Just keep it simple and whisper my name in my ear just how I like it.”

Bela jumps, sliding out of the booth as fast as humanly possible, nearly making it out and more than prepared to run for the door before Genevieve, Ruby, grabs her hand and holds onto it tightly, stopping Bela in her tracks. 

She dares to look back, nearly drowning in Ruby’s intense pools of blue instantly, “It can’t be.”

“But it is, Bela. It is me.”

“Dean… Dean said it was but you… you weren’t her… I mean… you just couldn’t have been…”

“I know, Bela," she places her hands on each side of her human’s face and Bela doesn’t pull away, doesn’t look away, “I’m so sorry.”

She can feel Ruby with her now, knows that without a doubt it is her. The way her hands feel on her face, her warm and sweet smelling breath flowing onto her.

How Ruby’s heart and soul practically begs for entrance back into Bela’s, who can’t help but block her out just like she’s been doing for all these months. 

“Sorry doesn’t cut it," Bela spits as she pulls away her hand and backs away from the booth, “you couldn’t even tell me, make your presence known I don’t know, a month or two ago?”

“I didn’t even know you were alive," Ruby stands up, stepping closer to her and begging her to listen, “I had to dig it out of Sam before I could even think about finding you. Bela, please.”

She wants to, really wants to.

“No, I can’t. I’m sorry, Rubes, but I really can’t.”

And with that she walks out, leaving Ruby with broken memories and fragmented tears in a diner, praying for her to come back and kiss her and tell her how much she loves her.  
But Bela can’t, it’s simply all too much. 

 

“I’m Ruby," the demon stares at her and nothing else, won’t even glance away or turn to something maybe more worth her time. 

And suddenly Bela knows that she is hers, in her arms where she’ll always be because nothing can ever tear them apart. They are not ephemeral but everlasting and fit within one another so beautifully it seems like a trick to the eye. 

Bela melts, smiles, eyes tearing up and soul bursting with such light that she almost thinks she’s dying, seeing the light that is Ruby and heading towards it. 

“I know.”

Oh, how she knows. 

 

The human storms off, outside the diner and into the early evening, not even bothering to look up at the beauty of the moon above her, beauty she can no longer feel because she is so shocked and confused and outraged and she feels so unloved. 

Maybe she can’t feel beauty because she is, truly, a monster.

Before she can make it to her car, a hand grabs her own and sends her flying towards the person, punching it in the face on instinct and pulling her bruised fist away panting and gasping. 

Ruby stands crouched before her, straightening up pretty quickly and wiping the blood from her lip. 

“Whatever helps you feel better, sweetheart.”

Bela’s fist gears up and is ready to go again but Ruby grabs it, pulls Bela closer to her as she growls and fights to pull her hand away. Ruby stares directly into her eyes, waiting for her to calm down before letting her go. Bela almost backs away but thinks better of it, her body is reacting strangely, once wanting to destroy the demon before her and now wanting to press her body close to hers, reveling in her warmth and the feel of her figure, of her dark brunette hair as she twirls it around her fingers. 

She opens her mouth but words won’t come out. Ruby takes it as her cue to step an inch closer and brush her human’s hair back from where its sprawled across her forehead, courtesy of her little fight. 

Ruby whispers, “You’ve done bad bad things, Bel." But don’t worry," she wraps an arm around her human’s shaking shoulders, “I’m here now. To stay.”

Bela nods, biting her lip before giving in and telling herself it’s okay, to abandon the demon inside her who Ruby’s managed to fight off for the time being. 

She lays her lips on her demon’s and can feel her lips moving along with her own soon after, pushing ever deeper. 

The kiss is slow and gentle and as they pull their bodies up against one another in the middle of the parking lot, they can feel it, everything they once had as they open up their hearts and explore each other once more, lips moving constantly, slightly faster and harder, their hands running through one another’s hair. 

They become entwined in their love and there is no experience more powerful. 

 

Bela twirls her fingers into the incredibly soft blonde hair, watches big blue eyes smile up at her as they force themselves open. 

“I’m a demon.”

She leans down for another kiss, addictive as crack, “I know.”

Ruby glances at her carefully and her human just wishes she would stop already, “So you sure you wanna start something with me?”

“No," Bela shakes her head, “I’m positive.”

She moves into Ruby’s arms, her fingers lingering on her lips, so soft and lush, and she remains there for the remainder of the night. 

 

Bela really wants to throw something at Ruby right about now. And if she thinks that admitting to all that’s been going on since Bela’s departure will forgive any misdoings, she is sadly mistaken. 

“You did what?”

Ruby doesn’t even try to scoot closer for the first few minutes, knowing this is something her human needs to process and that it’ll all be forgiven in time. Bela can tell it’s hard for her now, to not be able to reach out to her and give her the ride of her life to make up for the past. 

“You slept with him?”

Bela can’t believe it, doesn’t want to believe it for that matter. Her girlfriend, wrapped up in Sam’s arms after a spur of the moment sensation of lust? How sickening, how wrong, how…

“Gosh, Bel. Don’t kill me over it. I thought you were dead. What was I supposed to do, live out my entire life in misery?”

“…”

Ruby notices with a heavy heart the tortured look on her face, “Look, I never loved him, alright? I just used him. It was you," she departs the cold bed and places Bela’s head in her hands, stroking back her hair and smiling at her gently, “it was always you, beautiful.”

“You’re sure there’s nothing about him you’re gonna miss?”

Ruby smacks her lightly, dragging her back over to the bed so she can warm it up with her still very human body, no matter how broken Bela may claim it to be.

“Depends. You done killing people?”

She hasn’t had any terrible encounters with the monster hidden deep within her since Ruby showed up, and she doubts she’ll ever have a problem again if her demon keeps her promise and stays with her. 

Ruby won’t let anyone transform her Bela. 

Bela bites her lip, “Yeah, I’m done now that you’re here. I love you.”

Finally, those three little words feel so right to her. 

Ruby smiles and claims her as her own once more with unrequited lust, passion and oh yeah, one other little thing, love.

 

“You coming, Bel?”

She turns and glances at a smiling and waiting Ruby, leaning against their new metallic blue Porsche, all too set to embark on their new adventure. 

Bela turns back towards the motel she’s stayed at for so long but is so glad she’s leaving. The tote bag in her hand she clutches tighter, housing the few things she possesses, one of them being a beautiful leather jacket Ruby bought for her. One that smells exactly of bubblegum. 

She walks towards the car and smiles back, “Yeah, I’m ready.”

As soon as her bag is settled in she catches Ruby watching her from the driver’s side door, arms folded on the hood of their new car and smiling one of those smiles that means something is up. 

“Don’t tell me you have another surprise up your sleeve.”

Ruby shrugs, staring at the motel for a moment before looking back to her human, “You know me. Always got something for you.”

It may sound sweet but often Ruby’s surprises are a little unsavory and extravagant. Bela honestly wants to move on with her life and not have to find out what it is. Though there’s a scarce chance of that. 

“At least we can put our old lives behind us," Bela admits with relief, savoring how this exact moment feels next to her girlfriend. 

“Yeah, maybe now I’ll find some time to try Dean out for a ride.”

Bela’s eyes darken as Ruby gives her one of those looks to watch out, “What?”

“Come on, Bel. Better catch me and claim me as your own pretty damn soon.”

She slides into the driver’s seat and Bela follows her lead on the other side, grinning and knowing full well, maybe like she’s always known, that’s she in for the wildest ride of her life.

Better and faster than a roller-coaster even. 

And so far? 

She’s loving it.

Though that doesn’t mean she’ll be playing Ruby’s little game of catch me if you can.

_~Come and take me home, if you feel lucky_  
 _Crossed the walls, excelled_  
 _Further along through their Hell_  
 _For my heart, I watch you kill_  
 _You always have, you always will_  
 _Spread your wings and sail out to me~_

**FIN**


End file.
